According to attachment theory (Bowlby, Ainsworth), every adult has a stable pattern of behavior in close relationships. Understanding your type is the key to resolving conflicts, reducing anxiety, and building a truly deep and secure connection.
The style is defined by levels of anxiety and avoidance
Comfortable with both closeness and autonomy. Trusts partners and is not afraid of rejection. The healthiest and most stable pattern.
Craves closeness and fears losing it. Often worries about the strength of the relationship, needs constant reassurance of love.
Values independence over closeness. Suppresses emotions, withdraws when intimacy increases. Closeness is perceived as a threat to autonomy.
Wants closeness and fears it at the same time. The most complex pattern: reaches for the partner and pushes them away. Often linked to trauma.
Your attachment style is not a verdict but a starting point. Discover which type combinations create a reliable bond and which lead to an emotional rollercoaster.
View compatibility tableWhat modern attachment science actually says
My attachment style is set in childhood and I will never be able to change it.
Your type is a working template, not a diagnosis. About 30% of people change it during their lifetime through therapy or long-term secure relationships (earned secure).
Being securely attached means a person is perfect and never gets angry in relationships.
Secure people also argue and experience stress. Their difference is that they openly talk about problems and are not afraid of vulnerability, not the absence of conflict.
If my partner and I have different (and difficult) attachment styles, we should break up.
Any combination can succeed if both partners recognize their triggers and are willing to work on giving each other the sense of security they need.
Not sure which style is yours?
Take the 8-minute ECR-R testBased on clinical practice and the foundational attachment theory (J. Bowlby, M. Ainsworth). The methodology is rooted in the ECR-R scale (Fraley, Waller, Brennan, 2000), used in more than 1000 scientific publications.
Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss · Ainsworth (1978) · Fraley, Waller, Brennan (2000)
Content prepared by the PrismaTest team based on Bowlby and Ainsworth's attachment theory and the ECR-R methodology by Fraley, Waller, and Brennan (2000). All recommendations are grounded in contemporary clinical research (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007) and over 1,000 published studies on adult attachment.