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Relationships
Am I in Love Test: True Love or Limerence?
Take this scientifically-based Am I in Love test to discover if your feelings are genuine love or limerence (obsessive infatuation). Based on Dorothy Tennov's research on the experience of being in love.
questions
20
Time
6 min
Method
limerence
Rating
4.7
What you'll learn
Whether your feelings are genuine love or limerence (obsessive infatuation)
How much of your mental space is occupied by thoughts of this person
Whether you show signs of emotional dependency on this person
Your level of fear of rejection in relationships
Recommendations for managing intense romantic feelings
Key facts
1979
Created
Dorothy Tennov
Author
20
Questions
5-6 min
Time
500+
Participants
Worldwide
Used in
History & development
1964
Dorothy Tennov begins studying romantic attachment
1977
Tennov coins the term 'limerence' for obsessive infatuation
1979
Publication of 'Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love'
2000
Zeki & Bartels discover the neural basis of romantic love (fMRI)
2005
Fisher & Aron describe dopaminergic mechanisms of falling in love
2008
Wakin & Vo publish research on biochemical roots of love addiction
About the methodology
Limerence is a term coined by psychology professor Dorothy Tennov in 1979, based on a 15-year study involving more than 500 participants. It describes a state of involuntary cognitive and emotional fixation on another person (the limerent object, or LO).
Limerence differs from healthy romantic attachment in three key ways: 1) intrusive, uncontrollable thoughts about the LO, occupying 70% to 100% of waking time; 2) acute fear of rejection combined with irrational hope for reciprocity; 3) physical symptoms — rapid heartbeat, trembling, disrupted appetite and sleep.
Modern neurobiological studies (Fisher et al., 2005; Aron et al., 2005) have shown that limerence activates the same dopaminergic reward mechanisms as addiction. This test measures four components of limerence: intrusive thinking, fear of rejection, hope for reciprocity, and emotional dependency.
Scientific references
Dorothy Tennov (1979)
Helen Fisher, Arthur Aron, Lucy L. Brown (2005)
Arthur Aron, Helen Fisher, Debra J. Mashek, Greg Strong, Haifang Li, Lucy L. Brown (2005)
Semir Zeki, Andreas Bartels (2000)
Albert Wakin, Duyen B. Vo (2008)
Frequently asked questions
What is the Am I in Love test and what does it measure?
The Am I in Love test is a scientifically-based 20-question questionnaire based on Dorothy Tennov's research. It measures the degree of limerence - a state of intense romantic obsession that differs from healthy love through intrusive thoughts, fear of rejection, and emotional dependency on the object of attachment.
How is limerence different from real love?
Real love is characterized by calm attachment, respect for boundaries, and emotional stability. Limerence is an obsessive fixation where a person spends up to 100% of waking time thinking about one person, experiences severe anxiety when there's no response, and idealizes the object of their feelings.
How long does the test take?
The Am I in Love test consists of 20 questions and takes about 5-6 minutes. For accurate results, it's recommended to focus and answer as honestly as possible, thinking about a specific person.
Who developed the concept of limerence?
The concept of limerence was developed by American psychology professor Dorothy Tennov. She conducted a 15-year study of romantic attachment, interviewing over 500 people, and described her findings in the book 'Love and Limerence' (1979).
Can limerence go away on its own?
Yes, but it can take anywhere from several months to several years. The average duration of a limerence episode is 18 months to 3 years. Limerence ends when mutual healthy relationships form, through emotional exhaustion, or by transferring to a new limerent object.
Is limerence a mental disorder?
Limerence is not included in official mental disorder classifications (DSM-5 or ICD-11). However, neurobiological research has shown that it activates the same reward centers in the brain as addiction, and in severe cases can significantly impair daily functioning.
Instructions
Rate each statement thinking about the person you have strong feelings for. Answer as honestly as possible — there are no right or wrong answers.
Ready to start?
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